Psychotic Jealous

Jealousy, a bitter feeling of hurt and hostility could be amplified and distorted into a powerful obsession, which disqualified one from enjoying a loving relationship.

You are angry. You feel violated. You want revenge. Alice, a female friend of mine  voiced her concerns to me about her boyfriend Justin’s habitual gawking at the blonde chicks. “At least not in front of my face” she bursted in anguish. She obviously believes that controlling his behaviour was the only solutions to her vulnerability.

Most of us have a tendency to blame others for  the cause of our emotional discomfort.  She complains to me:” If he didn’t worship other girls that way, I would not have felt so violated.” It is clear to me that her attempt to control over the other as a solution has a little merit in itself. Her verbalised frustration flags no threat but an attitude of powerlessness.

I suggested Alice to communicate her thoughts to Justine in a calmly manner without condemnation. She finally took the chance to sat down with him and approach this matter in various perspectives. Unsuprisingly, he upholds a strong righteousness about his behaviour based upon gender differences , ” I am a man, how do you expect me not look at a girl in a mini skirt.”

Alice obviously could not accept this reason, and her inability to find a solution to  fragile emotions to which has been further jeorpardised by itself.

” If you love me like the way you said you do, you must come up with some compromising responses, I don’t care if it is some sort of pretentious promise, but you need to be liable for your behaviours that caused me grief!” Such thought kept revolved and repeating itself in her brain back and forth, it almost feel a forthcoming storm swell on the edge of the cliff.

Her emotional upheaval kept her crying all night like a psychotic. She told me that Justin’s eyes filled with empathy, helplessness and ambivalence. He trivalised the matter and believes it is merely an episodic mental disturbance to which I agree.

Preceding to the confirmation of my second opinion, Alice demands me to tell her that her reaction is abnormal. She proposed to me about the preparation to endeavours her hardest to repress and suppress her feeling, for the sake of avoiding the cost of being perceived as a crazy insecure girlfriend. This become the only way for her to be abstained from the complexity of her other issues.

I was also right about suspicion about such a approach in which does not seem to be answerable to the problem but conversely, further entagles her mental wellbeing. I cannot remember who said that :” a thought killer a day, keeps the psychoanalysis at bay.”

In my opinion, her problem underlies the  lack of self-love. She may believe that her physical attractiveness is what warrants Justin’s love for her to such an extend that she does not realise that she has other quality to the exclusivity. This explains her insecurity within herself to which she often feels threatened by rival with the same or higher level of physical attractiveness. People with these kind of problems usually fears to be alone and the reason for them to have a relationship merely based upon their need for evidence to prove that they are lovable in which they do not believe deep down within themselves.

~ by lesstraveledby on September 5, 2008.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: